Hawking's Ark passes Saturn's rings

Cairns spaceport, Australia, 15 June 2050: The space ship Hawking's Ark has passed by the rings of Saturn, the first time they have been seen by the naked human eye in recorded history.

The Ark has been sending back video of the rings and moons of Saturn for several months as it neared the planet, but the pioneers aboard the Ark held their first 'open glass' viewing of the planet today. The radiation shields protecting the Ark are designed only to be opened in emergencies but were pulled back for seven minutes today to allow the viewing.

"It was a sight I will never forget, more emotional than watching earth disappear behind Mars," said pioneer Rudi Ham Sin.

Hummingbird colony threatened

On a less upbeat note, the Ark's science blog for Monday reported that its hummingbird colony has lost six breeding pairs in the last year, with no new births. Hummingbirds were among the several thousand species which were not tested for physiological adaptability to space flight, due to the pressure to advance the departure of the Ark to coincide with the 20th anniversary of the birth of reunited China.

The Ark has traversed the space between Earth and Saturn in just over seven years, nearly as fast as was achieved by the fossil and nuclear fuel powered Cassini spacecraft which reached Saturn in 2004. The Ark's solar wind technology has been continually improved upon by pioneer scientists throughout the journey and the craft is now able to achieve non gravity assisted speeds of 10km (6 miles) per second.

Sidebar: The Ark is named after the Nobel Prize winning theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking, whose Hawking Foundation was dedicated to 'ensuring the future of the human race in space'. The Foundation established the first private lunar colony in 2027, to serve as a launch platform for the Ark. Financial difficulties struck the project in 2032 and a joint venture with the Chinese government rescued the project and ensured its completion, culminating in the launch of Hawking's Ark in 2043.

The nominal destination of the Ark is the star Tau Ceti, however it will leave reliable communication range within five years unless new technologies emerge. The Ark is intended to be a sustainable eco system, able to collect and store energies from gravity and radiation in space, and to mine asteroids or planets for the raw materials needed to maintain or even expand the mother ship into a fleet of Arks.

The Indian Government has announced that its Ark, the Ghandi, will launch in ten years and will follow the Hawking to Tau Ceti. The Indian Government has announced that it regards the survival of its colony and the plant and animal species within it as paramount and it will not compromise current space based testing in order to achieve an earlier launch date.

Protein oven recall warning

Hong Kong, 14 June 2050: The world's leading brand of consumer Protein Oven, the pBox, has issued a global recall of its pBox 420 oven.

The pBox 420 was the most purchased household appliance on mainland China last year, offering people the opportunity to culture their own chicken or beef-like protein 'loafs' in a simple breadbox sized unit.

"It was a boon to the modern kitchen," said celebrity chef Weechun Hai Dawson. "Protein cells, growth medium and an oven which could keep the culture at the exact temperature needed to ensure rapid growth - it was the first time this was achieved in a domestic appliance!"

Previous protein ovens were industrial sized units used to grow protein suitable only for canned goods or sauces, with a maturation time of three days. The pBox 420 was the first household unit which could grow 500 grams of chicken or beef-like protein overnight.

"It was as easy as baking bread, and produced a succulent meat which tasted almost indistinguishable from the real thing," Hai Dawson said.

The pBox manufacturer, Hitachyundai, issued a press release stating that the units were being recalled due to "growing reports of culture abnormalities". These abnormalities did not affect the safety of the protein product, the company said, but were "disturbing to some consumers".

Hong Kong consumer rights organisation, CorpWatch, said it had received several reports of cultured protein containing soft bone like tissue and an unverified claim that one consumer found a lump of tissue resembling an eyeball in a pBox Protein Loaf.