Protein oven recall warning

Hong Kong, 14 June 2050: The world's leading brand of consumer Protein Oven, the pBox, has issued a global recall of its pBox 420 oven.

The pBox 420 was the most purchased household appliance on mainland China last year, offering people the opportunity to culture their own chicken or beef-like protein 'loafs' in a simple breadbox sized unit.

"It was a boon to the modern kitchen," said celebrity chef Weechun Hai Dawson. "Protein cells, growth medium and an oven which could keep the culture at the exact temperature needed to ensure rapid growth - it was the first time this was achieved in a domestic appliance!"

Previous protein ovens were industrial sized units used to grow protein suitable only for canned goods or sauces, with a maturation time of three days. The pBox 420 was the first household unit which could grow 500 grams of chicken or beef-like protein overnight.

"It was as easy as baking bread, and produced a succulent meat which tasted almost indistinguishable from the real thing," Hai Dawson said.

The pBox manufacturer, Hitachyundai, issued a press release stating that the units were being recalled due to "growing reports of culture abnormalities". These abnormalities did not affect the safety of the protein product, the company said, but were "disturbing to some consumers".

Hong Kong consumer rights organisation, CorpWatch, said it had received several reports of cultured protein containing soft bone like tissue and an unverified claim that one consumer found a lump of tissue resembling an eyeball in a pBox Protein Loaf.